Monday, 8 August 2011

Loves Me Some NW Ontar-eye-O

"I wonder if they fixed the hole," muses Musician Boyfriend as we touch down at Thunder Bay International Airport. He is referring to the damage left by a windstorm that ravaged my hometown of Thunder Bay a couple of weeks ago. The windstorm that blew the roof off of the airport.


Since moving to TO I've discovered that Thunder Bay is surprisingly unknown to the GTA -  considering the number of times it's made CNN.
No - GTA'ers know little of the place from which I came. But I'll forgive you Toronto if you promise to start making more of an effort. You introduced me to Persian food. I'll pretty much forgive you for anything.

Thunder Bay, which sits on the shores of Lake Superior, houses about 120 000 people. It has the highest number of finnish people per capita outside of Finland, and the highest number of trucks per capita in Canada.

Before you judge it as a bizarro pseudo-scandinavian hick town, keep in mind that  every second family owns a camp (TBay name for cottage) in addition to their home. With a camp comes a sauna and a boat. With a boat comes a truck to haul it. See?

The (happy) Talls. 
MB & I stayed with the very hospitable Tall Megan and her boyfriend, Tall Adam. The Talls, if you will. The Talls have a beautiful, multi-roomed house in a quiet, accessible neighbourhood. MB and I went on a walk-about shortly after our arrival.

"Imagine what it will be like when we have this many rooms?" Asks MB, wide-eyed.

"We'll probably get along much better," I say.

MB agrees, wholeheartedly. We sigh, together. Always...together.

Hot Skinny Blonde & her long-time love,
Mohawk Boy. 
We timed this hometown trip to attend Hot Skinny Blonde's Mom's* (non)wedding, featuring a musical performance by the one and only, Musician Boyfriend. *Hot Skinny Blonde's Mom is notably a hot skinny blonde Mom.

It is classified as a (non)wedding because:

a) the couple got married last winter.  By Elvis. In Vegas.
b) I wouldn't pass out at 9 pm in a trailer at a wedding.
c) MB doesn't play weddings. Fact.

So without further ado, please enjoy the trip summary:

Trip highlights (600 points):

Porter Airlines. On top of the free
booze and food, they put MB's guitar
in the closet on-board. And
they serve gluten-free snacks.

 Boating the Kam River with Mr. & Mrs. MB
within hours of landing.
Train ride with MB's thrill-seeking nephew,
Camp with the girls. NB: evened out
sheath dress tan. Summer to do list #10 - check.
MB allowing me to exercise my
'joie de vivre' at the (non)wedding. Summer
to do list #14 - check.
The inspiring couple & (non)wedding hosts with the most, Hot
Skinny Blonde Mom and Silver Fox.
Lessons learned (minus 400 points):

1. Unexpected  musical performances at your rock star boyfriend's hometown show can go horribly awry when there is a last minute key change. And your boyfriend forgets the words. And he audibly groans when you try for that obscure note. And the floor doesn't kindly open up to swallow you.

2. Riding MB's coattails at shows is akin to him asking to write a chapter in my book.


Night falls on the (non) wedding. 
"Oh, c'mon, it'll be fun! I'm not a writer & it's not what I'm doing with my life but my friends will love it! It'll get great reviews!"

(But if/when I ever get over Lesson #1, I'll likely continue to do it.)

Ticket stub found in MB's wallet.
3. You can build paradise & throw an insurmountable party in it. See photo right.

4. Had I been killed on the rickety deathtrap in small town fair last weekend, I (my estate) would have had no recourse.  See photo left.

5. With the houseboat plan, the yacht plan, the Wakefield plan, the East Coast plan, and now the Hot Skinny Blonde Mom and Silver Fox log-home meets sexy loft meets swank hotel property plan, I am harbouring too many plans for retirement.

And I don't even have a goddamn job.

Trip total: 200 points


Alana said...

You did it again. A major LOL-er!
Was it really 9 when you went for your first nap? yikes. haha xo

Jennie said...

Great entry Bri! I aspire to be mentioned in your non-blog one day. I am hatching my plan starting now.

Seija Raslack said...

Thanks for all the compliments!! Look forward to seeing you and MB next time you're up this way. Love ya,
Seija and Allan

Kaitlin said...

I love your non-blog! Provides some chuckles in my boring days here in Geraldton!

Katie K said...

Lots of laughs and pictures too, what more could you want?? Loved it, Bri.

Caitlin Rose said...

OH I know what you mean. I would be such a good retired person!

Bri said...

Jennie - make it happen! dream big my friend!

Thank you for reading all :) xo