Tuesday, 16 August 2011

The Strife of Pi

A picture is worth 1000 words.
I learned something yesterday. Something I feel might help to explain the non(blog) status of my writing (for all those doubters out there.) In math, there are such things as a) quotients and b) non-quotients. 

Some things are quotients. Some things are non-quotients. Quotients are fractions. Non-quotients are not fractions - they are square roots. Therefore a quotient is not a non-quotient.

And while my non-blog is the furthest thing from square, I'm sure you're catching on to my point.

In this world there are quotients and non-quotients, blogs and non-blogs. This is a non-blog. Because it is not a blog.

It works in the world of math and logic, so I decree it works here as well. Fallacious you say? Sorry I'm busy writing. I can't talk about this now. And I have homework to do later...so...

Yes, I've started that math course I have to take, so whatever.
Today was day 2. I go back tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And on Fridays there is a test. (I feel that this alone should plainly settle the debate over the existence of (a) god. Along with the fact that men and women hit their sexual peak at 19 and 35 respectively of course. But maybe that's just me.)

Math Camp (it really is a math camp, now that I've experienced it. It's just...so...much...math) is my introduction to grad school. Most of my class is in it, which comes as no surprise. The majority of us are poli sci or related degree grads (with the odd lawyer or butcher or high-powered foreign candlestick maker thrown in). We deal with people and ideas. We read and write. We argue. We problem-solve (not to be confused with solving math problems.) We vote (even if it is just to spoil the ballot). When it comes to technical expertise, we are generally useless.

Why should we care about the slope of a perpendicular line vs. a parallel line? Do I really need to make room for y=mx+ b &  Ax + By + C = 0 in my already cramped up brain? How, I ask, am I expected to remember which bachelor from Gillian's season is on Bachelor Pad, when I now know that the slope of two perpendicular lines are negative reciprocals.

Maybe it won't even stop with shallow girls night points of discussion. Maybe I'll just start forgetting things like my birthday, my way home from school, the significance of the US raising their debt ceiling & why that process publicly exemplified the puerile attitude of the Republicans in Congress. (And the broken system which rewards said attitude.)

What's that you say? I need to find the x and y intercepts? Whoops, sorry Musician Boyfriend. I will never remember where I put my keys. Ever. Again.

At the end of the day, the feeling that a) not only are you back in high school but b) you are less intelligent than you were, even then, when you straightened your hair with a clothing iron and wore platform clogs, leaves much to be desired.

But, similar to Super My Ace, I refuse to let something like dividing by zero and finding the equation of the line (simple week 1 concepts, apparently) take time off the end of my life. So, (goddammit) I will look on the bright side. Here I go.

Reasons why I Should Embrace Math Camp

1. The chance to get to know (size up) my peers prior to September.
2. Being humbled by getting to know my peers, considering what (seriously) impressive tidbits I've learned of them already. 
3. You know...Mother Theresa was humble. So maybe I'm like the Mother Theresa of Math Camp. 
4. No longer feeling MB's daily resentment now that I have to get up early again. 
5. Standing to learn from my professor's wicked dry humour. (Better than coming out with nothing. And arguably better than coming out with an intimate understanding of mathematics.)
6. Feeling confident that if a person stops me in the middle of the street and demands to know the slope of a horizontal line, I won't face public humiliation.
7. Feeling confident that if I were put head to head with Rob Ford in an algebra competition, I would win. 
8. Re-awakening a sleeping part of my brain & thus helping to prevent the early onset of dementia. 
9. Reacquiring the right to complain (for the first time since quitting my job.)
10. Feeling that sense of satisfaction when you actually 'get' something. (Even if you had to look up the answer to figure it out.)
11. Oh Christ, I give up.

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